Credible Career Choice
By Gene Chambers
"That's real nice, Baby," she said, as she unbuttoned and removed her blouse, then casually lit a cigarette.
He frowned as blue smoke drifted toward the motel room's ceiling. "Call me Jack. Like I told you back in the bar. Remember?"
"Sure, Jack," she said.
"The first time it hurt like hell," he said. "The second not so much. Now it's become almost a routine procedure."
Lottie coughed; said nothing. Why do they think they have to talk? Why can't they just do it, and keep their traps shut? Who needs a freakin' autobiography?
"Painless for me," Jack said, "Not so painless for them." The pitch of his voice rose, "I'm lying when I tell them they won't feel a thing!"
"That's nice, Sweetie," Lottie repeated. Why was he getting so agitated?
"All my life I've been different, you know? Grow up, find a job, get married, raise a family, kiss everybody's ass. Not me. You go left; I go right. You say black; I say white. Every herd of cattle has its bull. I'm the big bull in this herd."
Lottie snubbed out her cigarette. Christ. Talk, talk, talk.
"Medical school?" he scoffed. "A joke. Treating patients? Not me. Cutting, yes. Healing, no. There is something special about a scalpel; you know? Shiny clean, polished, finely keen. One can do amazing things with a scalpel."
Scalpel? Lottie glanced at his face. What'd he say? Cutting? Why was he grinning like that? She looked across the room to where his little black bag lay on the floor beside the door. "You ain't no doctor, then? Huh?"
"No." He smiled. "I am definitely not a doctor."
That's not a friendly smile, Lottie thought. It's a secret smile. "So," she said, "what are you then?"
He bent down and opened his bag.
"What the freak ya' doin'," she said.
He reached inside and Lottie heard metallic clanking sounds. Finally, his hand emerged, carrying a business card, which he handed to her. She thought that smile of his was the scariest thing she had ever seen. She read the card:
Johnson's Funeral Salon
Expert Cosmetic Surgery
For The Dearly Departed
Good Lord. A freakin' undertaker. Well, I suppose I can handle that, she thought. Until a few seconds later when she suddenly realized why a guy would carry a bagful of surgical instruments along with him for a night on the town.
Copyright 2008 Gene Chambers
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WORD FOR TODAY
credible
Adjective
- Able to be believed; convincing.
- Capable of persuading people that something will happen or be successful.
Synonyms
believable - trustworthy - plausible - reliable
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Age: 81 years old
Age: 81 years old
Dean Carroll Jones is an American actor. Jones is best known for his light-hearted leading roles in several Walt Disney movies between 1965 and 1977, most notably The Love Bug.
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I don't have credibility, I'm a comedian.
--Dennis Miller
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