Meaning & Purpose of Life

The Professor returned his gaze from the clouds that darkened the afternoon sky, loudly cleared his throat, and then turned back to face the circle of eager young faces that stared at him.

One of the female students said, "Professor, I don't understand what your previous comments have to do with my question concerning the meaning and purpose of life. Your lesson seemed to be nothing more than a litany of instinctual and mechanical methods of finding suitable shelter from the elements, obtaining sufficient quantities of foodstuffs, and picking proper partners for procreation."

"Ah, yes, " the professor said, "the deeper meaning and the true purpose of life. Yes...

"First, my comely young seeker, allow me to congratulate you for your astute usage of poetic alliteration."

The young student pulled away from a classmate who was grinning at her and making snuffling noises as he blatantly eyed her shapely behind. "You are such a pig," she grunted and turned her attention back to the professor, who was saying:

"And also for your seemingly avid interest in the pursuit of arcane philosophical profundities, which sets you above the ignorant masses which aimlessly mill about within the social confines of the herd and remain content to wallow in the mud and mire of mediocrity."

"Thank you," she said, "but..."

The professor continued:

"Look around you. Keep your eyes and your mind opened at all times. The answers to most questions eventually become obvious to true seekers, and these answers usually lie within the scope of ordinary vision."

The student pivoted stiffly to her left, next to her right, then jerkily turned 180 degrees to search her surroundings. But all that she saw was a feces-covered piece of flat and nearly indigestible material loosened from one of those mysterious manifestations that occasionally appeared from nowhere to litter the landscape. Lowering her gaze to the nondescript object, she peered at it...



...and wondered if perhaps the professor might be getting a bit too old to effectively reveal the hidden secrets of the meanings and purposes of life to this newest enlightened generation of seekers-after-knowledge, of which she was, of course, the absolute pick of the litter.

A day and a night passed. Then another... and another.

One fine morning filled with birdsong and sunshine, the professor looked around and found that his students were no longer in attendance. He was alone for the present. He sighed, closed his eyes, and settled back to relax... and to wait. A new crop of seekers would soon arrive. In the meantime, it felt sooooo good to have nothing more to do but to just lie back and relax. After all...

That's what life is all about.

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